I want to talk about a shameful little secret that we all have, that in my opinion, just doesn’t get talked about in the way I’m about to lay it out. I am also going to explain HOW TO BE IRRESISTIBLE in any outfit, at any age, no matter what.
Yep, you heard me. NO MATTER WHAT.
No make-up? So what. Some wrinkles? Big Whoop. Haven’t had time to get your nails beautified? Still amazing.
Yes, STILL AMAZING.
Having entered my thirties 4 years ago, I have had the opportunity to experience life in a different way than I did in my twenties. Thank goodness right? Although my Spirit never grows old if I continue to nourish it with the things that bring it joy, my body on the other hand will grow older no matter what I do. It has become a common thing for woman my age and older, to talk about Botox and to be on a constant search for whatever ways we can, to escape mother nature’s plan for us. It makes me sad and frustrated and resentful to see how society talks about and views an aging body.
When I was in my twenties I had to do a lot of work, and I mean A LOT, around my body image. I struggled for a very long time to make peace with my body, which came only as a result of returning to a place of love within me. Returning to my own love allowed me to FEEL beautiful regardless of how my body looked. Before this shift, I was always needing my body to look a certain way, in other words PERFECT, in order for me to FEEL ok. Only it was a vicious cycle. How I felt DEPENDED on how I looked. So I lived on an emotional roller coaster. On the days I approved of my body, I could be somewhat happy, only I lived in fear of food and not exercising enough because I didn’t want to wake up the next day to a body I disapproved of. So really, I wasn’t able to even be fully happy when I approved of my body.
Have you ever met someone who is unhappy all the time? Someone who is at war within themselves, unable to acknowledge their own beauty, and therefore insecure, full of self-criticism and obsessed with all the things they feel might save them, such as exercise, shiny objects, diets, Botox, tanning, and the list goes on?
This was me.
TOTALLY RESISTIBLE.
It is NOT our most attractive look when we live in a place of self-judgment, shame, insecurity, and feeling ugly and not enough. We do things when we don’t love ourselves, to make up for that lack of love, that are just NOT attractive.
I finally worked through my body image stuff towards the end of my twenties, and it was such a liberating experience! Instead of needing to look perfect first, before I could feel happy and love myself, I made the SHIFT. I began to love myself and connect to something deeper inside of me. I began to reach beyond the mind, beyond my thoughts, and into my own heart.
Meditation was one of the tools that helped me do this.
This is where I found myself. This is where I found love, SPIRIT, beauty, acceptance, joy, and light. From this place, a quality of happiness took over me that was new and real. I began to smile from the connection to joy that I felt, and this began to radiate outward. My choices and relationships began to fall into alignment with the love I felt for myself, so I stopped eating and drinking and using things that were harming me, and no longer felt the need to surround myself with un-supportive people, places, and things.
My body began to change automatically, because I was doing things from a place of love, so all my actions were loving. My body liked this A LOT. MY body and I became best friends instead of enemies.
My point is, growing happier as a result of feeling love for myself and making choices to respect and honor myself regardless of how I looked, ended up being the very catalyst for change that I was unable to reach when coming at it from the outside in. I began to make choices for myself from a place of LOVE vs. a place of fear.
It was an INSIDE JOB.
So back to this whole aging thing. Now, at the age of 34 years old, the next layer of this self-love, has recently confronted me. It’s this idea that we are supposed to have unwrinkled, perfect skin in order to be beautiful, or that we must preserve our youth in order to preserve our worth. I’m sorry people, but WE CANNOT ESCAPE GETTING OLDER.
I am a firm believer in eating healthy foods, nourishing the body with nutritious drinks, and doing things like yoga and meditation which keep the body and mind youthful, clean, clear, and functioning optimally. I DO believe that we age faster than we need to when we are not treating our Spirit’s and bodies with love. However, why is it that so many of us FEAR getting older and loosing our youthful look?
This is a topic still under exploration in my own life, and I am only 34, so I’m not about to claim myself an expert here. I am not necessarily offering the solution for you, but I am however opening up this topic for contemplation and discussion. I want you to honestly sit with this question:
“When will I be able to LOVE myself, just as I AM?”
Imagine what things could be like, if we ALL embraced the natural course of life. What if we chose to look more deeply at why we try to avoid it, and instead of trying to fix it or change it, we simply could just BE present with how we don’t feel enough at times, and how afraid we are of not being loved? What if we could SEE how attached we are to our masks, our costume, our body, skin, hair, nails, etc, and how afraid we are of loosing our concept of beauty? Can we let this SHOW US how we may need to redefine what beauty means for us? We may need to explore the feelings inside that come when we think we won’t look young or perfect anymore. Why is this so scary? What is it that you are REALLY wanting?
We all want to be IRRESISTIBLE. We only think we want others to feel this way about us, but in reality, the only reason that even matters is because we think we need it for confirmation that we are enough. We want youth and are attracted to perfect looks, because somehow there is a deep association we have to perfection and happiness. “If I was beautiful like her, then I would have no problems in my life.” “If my husband/wife was perfect looking, then I could convince the world that I am successful and happy inside.” “If I can stay looking young, then I will always feel like I deserve to be here.” These are the things that run through our heads!!!
What we would be far happier achieving, is the feeling of being irresistible to ourselves. To look in the mirror, to see a few wrinkles, to see a body that is perhaps still digesting last night’s feast, and to have compassion, to choose LOVE over fear, to team up with acceptance rather than resistance and to look back at that image in the mirror and say, “You are smoke’n HOT. You are beautiful inside and out. Thank you for being so amazing. I love you more every single day, and for that I am grateful.”
How would that feel if you were simply IRRESISTIBLE to yourself?
Have you ever met someone who loves who they are (and I do not mean in an ego driven way, but a Heart-Centered way)? Someone who does not dim their light or put themselves down? Do you know someone who radiates beauty from the inside out and when you are with them, you just feel good, uplifted, supported, and when you think of them all you think are beautiful thoughts? They are IRRESISTIBLE!
To be IRRESISTIBLE, we must love ourselves. We must accept ourselves at any age, in any outfit, no matter what. The choice to feel enough or not, does not come from him, or her, or them, it’s YOURS to make.
When will you give yourself the permission that you seek, to finally FEEL and BE enough? If not now, when?
Here Are 5 Tips On How To ALWAYS Be IRRESISTIBLE:
1) Do not let age be a separator. Everyone has been young, and everyone will grow old. We let our age separate us from those who are younger than us or older than us. We judge the elderly and laugh at them. We put down the young, as though they don’t know anything. Instead of doing this, let us come together and help each other go through the phase of life we are in! We are here to celebrate every day, and every age! We are here to fully experience all that comes with each new decade, including the wrinkles, the changes, and the grey. The young can have RESPECT and Curiosity for those who have gone before them, knowing they too will reach their time to be that age. They can listen and TRUST that there is much they do not yet know, and LET the older ones be the wise ones that they are. The older generations can take responsibility for the role they play for those who are younger, setting HEALTHY examples of how to stand in their power at their age, to be proud of their journey, to have achieved a state of confidence that is rooted in self-love and compassion. They can age with grace instead of shame and resistance. What we do and how we see each other, makes a POWERFUL impact on the way we will experience life. Let us all live mindfully, humble, and RESPECT one another at EVERY age.
2) Find your own way to honor yourself. There is no right or wrong way. However, there IS doing things from a place of fear to make up for not feeling like you are enough or worthy vs. doing things from love just to celebrate who you know you are deep inside. Continue to check in with yourself. Ask yourself, “Do I do this to nurture, nourish, honor, and celebrate myself, or do I do this to make up for something I feel that I lack?”
3) Get Honest. Get honest with yourself about why you do what you do. Vulnerability and inner integrity are two of the most interesting and attractive qualities we can have.
4) BE PRESENT. BE aware of your questions, your insecurities, your doubts, your fears, and your need to do things that you wouldn’t otherwise do if you already felt good enough. Once you SEE them, instead of trying to fix them or change this about yourself, let it BE. Let yourself BE, just as you are in that moment, not trying to run, or hide, or change, but standing in the RAW, REAL, and EPIC truth about yourself.
5) Smile from your heart. When you look at other people, instead of looking at them through your fears of what they might see about you, or your insecure ideas about yourself, or your fears about what they are thinking, just SEE them. SEE yourself in them. SEE them in you. SEE from your heart, not your head, your ideas and concepts, your judgments and conditioning, but from your HEART. SEE that we are all the same. We ALL want to feel loved and accepted just as we ALREADY ARE. Look for what is right in them, in the world, and in YOU. This my awesome friend, IS beautiful. To shine the light for others by being the light is IRRESISTIBLE.
Thank you so much for being here with me, for opening your time, your mind, and your heart to take this in. It is a pleasure and a joy to spend this morning with you. Please message me here with any questions or comments, or you can email me privately at [email protected]. Thank you!
Love you all,
Erin
If you want to check out what I am up to, here is the latest group I am running, www.BeAnExplorer.eventbrite.com. It is already begun, but if you are interested in working with me in this way, let me know as I will be running more after this one! Also…
Are you ready to walk the path of self-love, to experience greater connection in relationships, and deepen your awareness of your own Inner Guru? If you said YES Erin, yes I am, then perhaps you are ready to coach with me one-on-one! If this is YOU, please send an email to [email protected]. The E.L.M. Inner Guru Mentoring Program is an exciting, heart opening, highly effective way to re-connect you to your highest-self, so you can live a life you love in a body you love. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Thank you and Namaste 🙂
Photo Image Credit: Daniel Hinds at wikimotive.com.
