“Freedom resides in the WHAT IS, nowhere else.” -Erin Lanahan Method
Namaste Friends. Today I acknowledge that I have been back in the United States for 3 months. Whilst it certainly is not a very long time, I definitely have been through and done a lot since being back. I was sitting with things this morning, tuning into what might be the best topic for discussion here with you, and of course, the word that keeps coming up is ACCEPTANCE.
I could honestly explore this word and what the meaning of it is in my life forever, because ACCEPTANCE is something we seem to get in pieces, and as we grow up, grow older, and life and its many circumstances change, we are greeted by how easily we can accept life as it unfolds, accept ourselves exactly as we are, and accept others exactly as they are.
Now I am not saying we EVER have to accept unhealthy or harmful circumstances and situations that are unfriendly and bad for us, but rather to ACCEPT things as they are, and allow the acceptance to inspire the next decision and/or action. Thus, if things are not supporting our highest good, rather than making excuses and trying to pretend they ARE good for us, we are better off getting fully present to the harm and pain they create for us, and then acting accordingly.
I have not lived in the same city as my entire family, parents, siblings, etc, in many years. I suppose it is actually Divinely orchestrated that somehow, we have all ended up back in the town I grew up in, for this period of time. Who knows how long it will last, so I have been making the most of it. It certainly has been amazing, but not always easy.
Family can trigger us more than anyone! Due to the ties we have with them, past, present, and future, the memories we share, the mirrors we are for one another, they just have a way of making us see ourselves differently and usually much more INTENSELY than our friends, clients, co-workers, employers, etc. We can move away and do all kinds of incredible things in life, visit some of the world’s most treasured places, and develop into expansive, passionate, purpose-filled light workers in the world, and yet, the minute we see our family, some how we revert back to the years between birth and high school.
I am fully aware that this happens for me, mostly because the last time I really had a relationship with my family was before I left this town at 18 years old. Of course I have come home to visit over the years, but never more than 3-4 weeks, and you just don’t get down to the nitty-gritty relationship stuff when it’s happy holiday, i’ll be leaving soon type visits. This homecoming for me has been more about really facing into the beliefs I have carried about myself for many years that were created when I was a kid, and my beliefs about my family members that I have carried with me for many years that were also created long ago.
Upon my return, and my deep core belief that I am here for a reason, I made a commitment to myself, and a silent one to my family (Although if they read this, not so silent anymore ;), that I would let go of what I thought about myself and about them, and instead just EXPERIENCE myself and them as we are NOW, and go from there.
I had to move through many layers of my own charges and personal insecurities to ultimately be able to do this, so the ACCEPTANCE began with ME.
When I was in conversations with my siblings, my parents, or my entire family around the dinner table, or the like, I would notice old patters inside of me bubbling up, such as the need to be heard, the need to prove that I was good enough, and the need to feel acknowledged, appreciated, and accepted. Interestingly enough, I was aware it was also a pattern that still was showing up for me in my life overall. In those moments, with this AWARENESS, I could acknowledge, appreciate, and accept myself as a young woman, who for whatever reason, didn’t feel heard, good enough, or a part of, in my childhood and teenage years, which regardless of the different way I experience life now, was still buried deep inside.
In the past I would speak loudly about my opinions, perhaps get emotional and upset, or start some kind of drama around how I felt, and I could now see the feelings that triggered such behaviour and instead of reacting to them, I could simply BE with them. Yes, it WAS intense at first. It WAS confronting and hard to sit still in it without crying or getting unnecessarily defensive. In doing so, I also became aware of the deep patterns within each of my family members, that created something similar for them, and I could acknowledged that for whatever reason, none of us felt heard, seen, appreciated, accepted, and admired. I could have COMPASSION for every single one of us.
To me it was ironic that we all felt this way, and yet, it wasn’t a huge surprise. In working as a coach, and a spiritual teacher I am aware of the personal hell people create for themselves without even knowing it. We all look for acceptance outside of us, growing deep resentments towards our loved ones and the world around us for our feelings, and blaming everyone and everything for our lack and limitations within and without.
As I began to SEE this happening, I could take responsibly in that moment. I could ACCEPT myself, ACCEPT them, and ACCEPT the good, honest truth, which is:
We love each other very much, we are not perfect, nor will we ever be, and that in and of itself IS perfect. We expect more from ourselves than anyone else, and although we are loved and appreciated and accepted, we don’t feel this way because it is our own attention and love we seek, no one else’s. Until we give it to ourselves, we are just not capable of giving it away. Seeing our inability to give it away, can also help us become aware of how deeply we hurt for this within ourselves, to have our own appreciation, and to REALLY FEEL inside like we are enough, no matter what other people think, see, or believe.
What other people think, see, or believe, is THEIR stuff, not yours.
We cannot be responsible for what other people choose, but we MUST be responsible for what WE CHOOSE. So this is how I experience ACCEPTANCE today. I simply stop to feel, to listen, to be with the WHAT IS. I give myself time to explore what’s happening, to let it land, and to gain some perspective and insight before responding. As I begin to SEE, I am allowing, and therefore accepting what is. Instead of trying to fix it or change it, I find it’s best to sit in it, and to hold the space for the ruth within, so as to shine a light on this within myself, and thus for each person around me.
Today I want you to know you are loved, heard, seen, appreciated, and accepted. So please, give this to yourself. YOU are worth it.
Lots of Love and Hugs!
Erin
If you want to check out what I am up to, here is the latest group I am running, www.BeAnExplorer.eventbrite.com. It is already begun, but if you are interested in working with me in this way, let me know as I will be running more after this one! Also…
Are you ready to walk the path of self-love, to experience greater connection in relationships, and deepen your awareness of your own Inner Guru? If you said YES Erin, yes I am, then perhaps you are ready to coach with me one-on-one! If this is YOU, please send an email to [email protected]. The E.L.M. Inner Guru Mentoring Program is an exciting, heart opening, highly effective way to re-connect you to your highest-self, so you can live a life you love in a body you love. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Thank you and Namaste 🙂
***Photo Image Credit: Inspiration Line
