Let me guess…
At some point or another, you have taken a look at someone else’s life and said to yourself (or out loud), “Why is their life better than mine. It’s not fair.”
Am I right? Perhaps when you are on your Facebook News Feed, and you begin to see pictures of extremely happy and successful people, you all of a sudden become aware that you feel sick in the stomach? Well, you are not alone! Unfortunately most people walk around feeling either better than or less than others. It is rare to find many people who walk around feeling completely equal to everyone else.
First of all, let’s get something straight. When you feel “sick” as a result of comparing yourself to someone else, that is just your body telling you there is a conflict of interest going on inside. When you see something you desire to have as your personal life experience, it’s a great feeling. BUT, it’s not such a great feeling when your thoughts immediately follow it up with, “that person must be better than me, and I can’t ever have something equal or better.”
It’s important to understand, that when you see something that you are absolutely capable of achieving and even MEANT to achieve, you will feel an intense feeling. You will feel strangely pulled, attracted, and fascinated with it. This is because you are being SHOWN something that you already have inside of you. It is ONLY when you get confused and think you cannot have it that you begin to shut down and feel intimidated rather than inspired.
Don’t be intimidated, BE INSPIRED.
Ultimately, what we are all really seeking, is to FEEL a certain way about ourselves, about our lives, and to feel fully expressed, seen, heard, and appreciated for all that we bring to the world. We long for connection, creative expression, and the ability to feel comfortable in our own skin in every situation. We each crave playing a role in the greater plan unfolding, and we DO.
When this topic comes up with my coaching clients, it starts off by them feeling extremely shut down, defeated, and less than. As we process these feelings we see that they come from the client’s assumptions. In other words, what they are doing is taking a look at what their life looks like and then coming up with what that means to them. Then they look at someone else’s life and decide what that means to them. Then they compare the two.
Do you see how this just cannot possibly give you any accurate information?
When you compare your insides to someone else’s outsides, it just sets you up to feel like you are better than OR less than. NEITHER of these sum totals serve your highest good.
Here Are 5 Reasons Why You Should NEVER Compare Your Life To Others:
1) You cannot possibly KNOW how someone feels inside.
Even if someone has all the “Things” that you could ever want, a multi-million dollar a year career, a gorgeous partner, beautiful clothes, houses, jewellery, and cars, etc, but they are not actually fulfilled inside, would you still want your life to be like theirs? You ASSUME all these things will lead to feeling a certain way, and so you continue to chase these things. This is NOT how it works. We must feel good and satisfied and fulfilled inside about how we show up in the world, or no amount of things, status, good looks, money, etc, will ever be enough. If we are genuinely fulfilled inside first, then all the “things” we manifest as a result are simply fun, but not necessary, and we have nothing that our safety, security, and deep joy depends on, because it is something we have regardless of our external circumstances.
2) We each have a certain path to walk and therefore our life experiences must support that path.
There is no better than or less than path. It’s like being in school. We each are heading towards something different so we must study different subjects. We must take different tests, and we must each be a student and become a master in our own right. If you really had it all to do over again, do you think you wouldREALLY want to do it differently? If you answered yes, then start by doing things differently RIGHT NOW.
3) Beauty, Success, Happiness, Abundance, and Peace can be expressed in a million different ways.
There is not just one type of beauty, one type of wealthy, one type of happy, or one type of peaceful. There are many different variations of these feelings and ultimately you want your life to be about YOUR unique expression of these things, not someone else’s unique expression of these things. You will never be able to express beauty, happiness, abundance, and success the way they do, and they will never be able to express those things the way YOU do. This is why we just cannot compare. It’s apples and oranges!
4) The more energy you waste comparing your life to someone else’s and trying to be like them, the less energy you have to be who YOU are, to share YOUR gifts, and to access and experience the profound level of health, wealth, and beauty that come along as a result of YOU BEING YOU.
Spend your time and energy seeking yourself and your unique expression of life, and sharing THAT with the world, rather than trying to be a clone of someone else. It’s FAR more rewarding to be YOU, I promise.
5) When you compare yourself to others, it devalues you, underestimates you, and limits you in every way.
To compare yourself to others, is the same as saying “I need to use other people to determine my own level of success and how good or bad I can feel about myself today.” WHY? Do you not already know? It’s like weighing yourself on a scale. What’s the point? If you are gaining weight, you know it. If you are loosing weight, you know it. If you love your body and genuinely feel healthy, radiant, and great in your own skin, why do you need a scale to give you a number that evaluates this for you? If you are gaining weight and feeling bad, then just focus your time and energy on doing something about it, rather than focusing on the number. Stop giving your power away to things outside of you. YOU get to decide how you feel about yourself in each and every moment.
Ok, so that’s a wrap for today. I invite you to please share who YOU really are with us. YOU are the one that will have everything necessary to feel and experience the life you have always wanted deep in your heart. If you don’t believe me, try, and see for yourself. 😉
You all know just how much I LOVE hearing from you. Please leave your questions and/or comments either here on the blog for me, or email them to email@example.com!
Here’s to YOUR unique expression of love, life, beauty, and success!
Do want to live your life to the fullest? If you’re ready to experience more inner peace in your soul, purpose in your life, joy in your heart, overall better health and well-being in your body, and you are serious about investing in yourself, then perhaps you are ready to work with a coach!:-)! If this is YOU, please send an email to firstname.lastname@example.org. The E.L.M. Personal Growth Mentoring Program is an exciting, mind and heart opening, fun, and highly effective way to release your mental, physical, and emotional weight so you can finally live your dreams. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Serious inquiries only. **Take advantage of special rates until September 25, 2012!!