Freedom and flexibility are not a result of our external limitations falling away, but rather the result of how we respond to the internal obstacles that we discover along the way. – E.L.M.
As a coach, a client, a teacher, and a student, I have the opportunity to experience both sides of this dynamic partnership. I get to see patterns and themes, and witness before my very eyes just how things seem to show up for every single one of us, in similar ways, at similar times.
Why do you think this happens?
Every time I speak from my heart, someone shares with me that they too, are going through something that feels the same. Well, I am definitely not psychic, so there must be another explanation. Perhaps this is just another way that we are all being shown just how connected we really are to one another, just how alike we are, and just how much we truly relate when the truth comes out.
Hmmmm, THE TRUTH…
This is the theme that I feel so inspired to share about today. Truth is something that is only accessible when there is vulnerability. Oh…Vulnerability? Nevermind.
Yeah, that’s what I use to say too. But hear me out. I know the word VULNERABILITY tends to be something we avoid, mostly because we don’t have a positive experience of it as far as we can recollect to date. I however, come in support of this word today, with the intention of creating the possibility that you might open yourself up to it again, like I have recently. I have just returned, alive and in one piece, from the dark waters of this discomfort.
That said, I must admit, when I stopped squealing, squirming, and assuming the worst, I realised it was only dark because my eyes were closed, and when I dug my heals into the ground and actually stood up, the water was only up to the middle of my thighs. Wow…who knew.
I have been stretching myself, reaching out to my ex-partner, who I have always known I loved, at least somewhere inside of me, but was just not capable of expressing or sharing that with him for the 9 months we spent together. We broke up for good about 6 weeks ago, and it was a very painful 6 week roller coaster that followed.
At the same time it BROKE ME OPEN in ways that I will be eternally grateful for and humbled by.
This has been one of the greatest opportunities I have ever been given, to really access all of me, so that I can share that with the world. This post is what I’ve learned about how we do that.
We all go through times in our lives where we experience an upheaval or uprooting of our core beliefs and patterns. This can be triggered by a break-up, relationship problems, heart-break, financial challenges, conflict around our careers, or due to health and/or emotional dramas such as illness or a sudden string of anxiety attacks. Whatever the trigger is, it can literally shakes us to our core and begin to strip away everything we thought we knew, leaving us with only TWO OPTIONS. We can drop into love, or we can drop into fear.
If we fear being alone or separate from others, than the solution would be to find a way to connect. If we desire abundance that we no longer have to be afraid of loosing, then the solution would be to feel abundant without any attachment to outcomes. If we fear death or sickness, then the solution would be feeling alive and in a place of strength. Well, in my experience the solution to all of these things lies in the place of vulnerability.
Vulnerability is not just a word. It’s a PLACE we go inside of ourselves, where we can exist whilst we speak and share what’s in our hearts. In this PLACE, we hold only loving thoughts about ourselves and there is no such thing as attachments to results or outcomes. When we enter vulnerability, we enter an unlimited realm of possibilities, where we can be ourselves freely and to do so is the ONLY goal we have. We go there so we can show up in our truth regardless of the outcome. When we do this, SELF-ACCEPTANCE happens. As a result, the interactions and experiences we have, feel complete. They feel whole, because we brought our WHOLE selves to them.
One of my mentors said to me the other day:
“Erin, you cannot think your way into right action. You must ACT YOUR WAY INTO RIGHT THINKING.”
Click, Click, BOOM. The AH-HA moment happened. My entire life up until that moment, was controlled so immensely by the belief I had that went a little something like this:
If can figure out how to feel a certain way about myself first, or get the re-assurance from him or her or this or that first, THEN I can finally be myself and feel ok about who I am showing up as in the world.
UMMMMMM….Love you, but no.
That’s not how it works. Well, at least not for me.
In my experience, if I want to feel love and feel connection, and feel desired and appreciated, then I must enter that place within ME. This is the place I have named Vulnerability. It’s that gentle, soft, patient, loving, kind way about sharing and being generous with what’s in my heart, even if you, or he, or she, or they, don’t like it, spit it out, stomp on it, and throw it back. Sound scary? Yes, I thought so too, but it sounds MUCH scarier than it actually is.
The thing is, how other people respond to you, ISN’T ABOUT YOU.
I have learned that what IS about me, is how I show up. HOW I SHOW UP will be the experience I get to have of the world. What happens after that, is not up to me, not my fault, not my business, and not ultimately my experience of the world. Does that make sense?
Entering the place of Vulnerability, gives us access to our TRUTH, because when we let go of outcomes and results, there is no longer anything we have to hide. We stop trying to control and manipulate what others see and feel, and we stop judging who we are and just share what we have to offer, trusting that it’s enough. The craziest thing is, even if it’s not enough for he, she, it, or them, if you have really shared all of you, it WILL be enough for YOU 🙂
When we become willing to enter Vulnerability within us, yes, the fears will show themselves. This is GOOD. Just SEE them. That’s it. Be present with them, and share what’s in your heart anyway. Are there any attachments to the outcome? Can you let them go? Just SEE your attachments to the outcomes. As you begin to SEE the truth inside you, your experience and how you show up in the world will already be well on its way to shifting from Fear to Love.
Here’s to our vulnerability, which gives us access to our BEAUTIFUL TRUTH!
Love and Light,
Do want to live your life to the fullest? If you’re ready to experience more inner peace in your soul, purpose in your life, joy in your heart, overall better health and well-being in your body, and you are serious about investing in yourself, then perhaps you are ready to work with a coach. If this is YOU, please send an email to [email protected]. The E.L.M. Personal Growth Mentoring Program is an exciting, mind and heart opening, highly effective way to release your mental, physical, and emotional blocks so you can live a life you love in a body you love. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Serious inquiries only.