It’s 8:15am in the morning on my second full day in Ubud, Bali. This place is very much what I imagined it to be, and yet different and even better. I have felt extremely pulled to write about my journey here, as so many things continue to become part of my realizations. The energy here is very strong, well at least it is for me. I asked my yoga teacher last night, and he said “some say this is a vortex, a special place, but one must be ready for it to work on them.” Well…I must be ready because man am I feeling it!
I have been told that this experience in Bali for me, is meant to be a cleansing, a purging, and the start of my great integration of the last 2 and a bit years of living in Australia. I certainly have been through some wild things, and have been stretched beyond any previous form of consciousness and awareness that I had before leaving Los Angeles in August of 2011.
I think one of the most challenging, and yet exciting things about this moment I am in, is that I have no idea what comes next, and at the same time, I just KNOW it will be fabulous in every way, and I am honored to be along for the ride, to have front row seats to the Divine production called my life.
This may sound pretty spiritual, and if that bothers you, sorry..it’s just how it is these days. I wasn’t always this way, but my life, my journey, has led me here, to this language, to these places, to the opportunities, relationships, and “coincidences” I have encountered. I cannot be something I am not, at least not anymore.
So, back to Bali…
Yesterday I went for my very healthy brekky which consisted of a green smoothie, a liver shot made of carrot and turmeric, a cashew milk cappuccino, and a wheat grass shot. It was amazing as I threw back these nutrient dense liquids, all the while feeling happy and proud to have the capacity to enjoy health and being surrounded by nature and yoga. There was a time in my life that I would’ve been more concerned with how early was too early to start taking shots of tequila, so lets just say I’ve come a long way in the last 4-5 years.
I was sitting at a table, on a veranda overlooking the jungle plants, as well as the amazing studio I was about to embark on my first Power Yoga sesh of the trip in, and I was aware of the heaviness left over from the ending of my relationship, as well as the irrational fears that come along with BIG changes. I was AWARE however, so I just sat there, with them, and let it be. It was actually really nice.
Then, I realized there were several people I know, or let’s just say have crossed paths with in some form or another, on multiple occasions, sitting in the cafe around me. When I realized, I spoke out, and apparently they all knew each-other too. Spooky. Sometimes we really forget we are not controlling things, and actually believe that somehow it is up to us when, where, and how things will happen. Yesterday was a HUGE reminder that God/The Universe is always up to something, orchestrating a Divine plan that we are in no way creative enough to compete with. It actually made me laugh aloud to SEE myself trying to.
Phew…there was a huge waive of relief to be reminded that I am not in charge, that all I have to do is STAY IN THE MOMENT, and take the next guided action, and the rest will literally unfold in a magical way automatically as a result.
Even-though I felt a bit charged up having seen these people, I was able to simply breathe into the feelings it stirred up in me. You see they happen to be here on a big writer’s retreat, and all my old stuff about “being left out,” “falling behind,” or somehow “not getting what I deeply desire,” were all kicked up.
Damn. Do I really have to deal with THESE on my holiday???
Haha…YES, IT’S EXACTLY WHY I AM HERE!!!
In the not so recent past, I would have allowed these charges to get the better of me, but yesterday, a very loving and yet POWERFUL voice reminded me of something. It said to me:
“Erin, these people were not placed here to show you your lack of worth. We put you all here for you to see that you are equals, to let you know that everything you deeply desire IS already happening, BEYOND YOUR WILDEST IMAGINATION, already unfolding, and this is simply our way of showing you where you are vibrating and what you are now attracting into your life so you can be even more excited about, and confident in, the person you are today, and all that you have to share.”
WOW…this was a very cool shift from the voice I used to hear which would’ve said things like, “your not good enough, they are above you, you will never fit in or get what you desire, yadda-yadda.”
We always get opportunities to see how far we have come, so it is so helpful and supportive if we can allow ourselves to SEE and ACKNOWLEDGE this when it shows up for us. We continue to experience things over and over again, until we go through them with CONSCIOUSNESS, which means we must continue to grow from it until it stops repeating itself, or else we will re-live the same experience out in however many ways it manifests in our physical reality, over and over AND OVER again, without getting anywhere (kind like a hamster on a hamster wheel, appearing as though it’s moving, but in the grand scheme, going no-where new).
I can humbly share that I am a student of this teaching below:
What we feel deeply in our most intuitive place, is not imagined. It is not far fetched. It is truth. This life is about tapping into that truth, then trusting it enough to follow through on it.
It may not always be easy, and most of us need help and guidance along the way during the really hard times, but there really is no other better way to fulfill our destiny, our mission, our Divine Assignment, as far as I have found to date. This however, is just my opinion, not fact. Take what aligns with you and leave the rest 😉
It has certainly been fun to connect with you this morning, but I must run off to yoga now. Lots of love! I’ll be in touch again tomorrow!
Do want to live your life to the fullest? If you are ready to walk the path of self-love, experience greater connection in relationships, and deepen your awareness of your own Inner Guru + you are serious about investing in yourself, then perhaps you are ready to work with me one-on-one! If this is YOU, please send an email to [email protected]. The E.L.M. Inner Guru Mentoring Program is an exciting, heart opening, highly effective way to re-connect you to your highest-self, so you can live a life you love in a body you love. It’s an investment in your health and happiness. Serious inquiries only. Thank you and Namaste 🙂