Are you one of those people who cannot stand it when you don’t know how things are going to turn out? Do you find yourself going insane when there is discomfort of any kind? Or perhaps when the outcome is unclear, you always assume the worst case scenario?
Heck, I will admit it right now that I have been that person many times. I still have days where I become aware that I am letting uncertainty and discomfort get the best of me, but I now have some extremely powerful tools that I can apply when I notice myself slipping into that insanity!
Here are 3 Tools To Help You Live With Uncertainty and Discomfort:
1) Ask yourself questions.
Ask yourself WHY you are thinking of the worst case scenario? Do you have proof that the worst case scenario is the most likely outcome? Are you basing your present on the hurts of the past, assuming that what happened then must be what’s happening now? Are your fears coming from what’s actually happening now, or from the rejection you’ve internalized from the past?
You must learn to separate your unresolved feelings that are left over from the past, from the reality of your current situation. If you haven’t completely healed from something in the past, then yes, present relationships and circumstances will act as the Divine Forces to bring up those unresolved feelings so they can be healed.
Ask yourself, “How can I allow myself to see this differently? How can I let go of the past just for today, and instead focus on the best case scenario in this moment? What might I be carrying with me into the future, that has nothing to do with my future? Can I choose to trust that all is well right now?”
2) Make friends with your uncertainty and discomfort.
Remember, uncertainty and discomfort are not bad. They are part of all of life. When we learn to live with the unknown and discomfort, comfortably, we will finally know peace.
Making friends with these feelings requires a new kind of discipline. EVERY time you notice yourself begin to drift off into the insanity they can kick up in you, notice it. Observe the beliefs, the patterns, and the thoughts that come up for you every time you feel these feelings.
Know that there was a time when you told yourself that these were bad feelings, a time when you decided they meant you were going to get hurt, and a time when they appeared to be the cause of pain and suffering.
Are you willing to change your mind about them? I hope so.
Here’s something Tony Robbins says that I LOVE:
“Your quality of life is directly related to the amount of uncertainty you can live with comfortably.”
We must be willing to change the way we feel about uncertainty and discomfort. In order to do that, we have to look for reasons to believe that they can be good feelings, and mean good things for us.
TRUST that you are exactly where you are supposed to be, and that in order to learn to trust these feelings, we must first choose to see them as our friends and allow ourselves to have a new experience with them so we can begin to feel differently about them. When you feel the uncertainty and discomfort come up, do something different than you normally do. Begin to break the pattern and the cycle of fear. Instead of jumping into old habits and negative thinking, let go of the past, and watch for good things happening now. Resist doing what you’ve always done just a little bit longer than your urges say to. Something deeper will begin to emerge.
3) Stop worrying about things that haven’t happened yet, and probably NEVER WILL.
Take some notes, jot stuff down, and do some journaling. Put it on paper so you can see it. How many times have the things you worry about actually happened? How many times, when you were afraid you weren’t going to be ok, were you actually not ok? And in the situations that really did happen, or the times you really weren’t ok, did the pain and suffering last or did you get through it and become a better, happier person as a result? Is what you are feeling uncertain and uncomfortable about now really showing up the same way as what hurt you in the past? Is the guy you’re dating now showing you the same signs as the one who broke your heart a year ago? Or is he showing up for you over and over again, yet somehow you are still in fear he’s going to let you down like the other one did?
More often than not, in the moment, we are FINE. There is nothing to worry about at all. The relationship is good, the job is good, and life is pretty good too, yet we are just uncomfortable with being ok and we fear that it’s going to fall apart at some point. We believe “It’s only a matter of time before I wake up from this dream” or “This is too good to be true” or “I can’t possibly survive this.” We can’t stand living in the unknown and having so many ideas and dreams that we can’t possibly know the outcome of until we continue to live our lives one day at a time.
So, when uncertainty and discomfort starts to drive you mad, remember that something hasn’t happened until it’s happened. Stop living in the future and live today as though the worst case scenario hasn’t happened… because it HASN’T!! Has it?
Think about best case scenarios only 🙂
Having these three tools have helped me SO much in my own life, and I believe they can help you too if you really apply them.
What are you going through? I want to know! Email me at firstname.lastname@example.org to share your story with me.
Sending out a HUGE hug to YOU!
If you are ready to transform your body, your relationships, and your life, please send me an email at email@example.com and ask me about my coaching programs. I will personally design something to meet all your needs. Serious inquiries only please.